Wednesday, December 30, 2009

CBR Book#17: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Why did I not read these books sooner? Just a warning for all y'all - I will be finishing out the HP series before I move on to any other books. They are filled with so much more detail and explanation than the movies, which I also quite enjoy, that I want to be sure to finish them all before Deathly Hallows pops up in the theater.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

CBR Book#15: Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris

Harper Connelly makes her living listening to the dead. She acquired her ability to see the final moments of the deceased when she was fifteen and struck by lightning. Harper was curling her hair in her family's run-down trailer when the lightning coursed through her body and changed her life forever. She now travels with her step-brother turned lover, Tolliver Lang.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

CBR Book #14: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

First off, I had to wait about a month or more for my local library to get this book for me. The waiting list was hella long. Also, the day I started reading this novel, I received a disc from Netflix that I though was season one of Venture Bros.. It turned out to be the first two episodes of True Blood. Weird. An now I'm hooked on the HBO series and still not sold on the first novel.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

CBR Book #13: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

Well, well, well. Harry Potter just got a bit more growed up in his third year. The book starts off like all of the other, with Harry dealing with his puppy-kicking assholes the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon's sister comes to visit and starts talking shit about Harry's parents, causing Harry to become upset and inflate her already large ass into a Macy's Parade balloon. Fearing he will be expelled from Hogwarts, Harry runs off and is picked up by the wizard public transportation Knight Bus. Here he learns about the things that Sirius Black, the escaped prisoner of Azkaban, was supposed to have done. This included murdering thirteen people in...DUN DUN DUN...COLD BLOOD.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

CBR #12: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter has spent the summer with his horrifically abusive and demented aunt, uncle and cousin, the Dursleys. The only thing keeping the Dursley family from keeping Harry locked in a room all summer is their fear of his magical abilities. One evening, while Harry is supposed to be hiding in his room from the Dursley's company, Harry is visited by a house-elf named Dobby. Dobby begs Harry not to return to Hogwarts because something bad will happen to the young wizard. In trying to convince Harry not to go back to the wizarding school, Dobby exposes the truth about Harry being unable to use magic while away from Hogwarts, resulting his imprisonment in the Dursley home.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

CBR Book#11: Fall to Pieces: A Memoir of Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll, and Mental Illness by Mary Forsberg Weiland with Larkin Warren

Stone Temple Pilots was my favorite band for the longest time. Scott Weiland, the lead singer, was really attractive and I loved the lyrics, hard guitars, and sound of the band. I saw Stone Temple Pilots in December of 1996. It was my first concert and it was after Weiland's run-ins with the law and various drugs. This book was written by Weiland's ex-wife, mother of his children, and (former) partner in crime.

Monday, December 7, 2009

CBR Book #10: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

I finally did it. I walked into the library and picked up the first Harry Potter book to read. I also picked up two other books. After becoming highly annoyed with Sleepers by Lorenzo Carcaterra, I began reading J.K. Rowling's first adventure with the young wizard with the bad-ass lightning-shaped scar.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

CBR Book #9: 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King

Ben Mears is a writer who has decided to return to a home he knew in his childhood. He plans to visit Jerusalem's Lot to exorcise the demons of his past and to create a best seller for his future. Mears hopes to rent the dilapidated Marsten House that stands over the town, overseeing the evil that men and women do in their daily lives. Unfortunately, the Marsten House has already been rented to a pair of antique dealers from out of town. Straker and the unseen Barlow have come to the town of 'Salem's Lot to start a new venture, but it may not involve antiquities.

Monday, November 23, 2009

People: Don't write in library books

I am working on Salem's Lot for CBR. I've been reading since I finished Rosemary's Baby. I am on page 47. I'm hitting the wall a little early here! I can usually fly through King's books, but not this time. I may cheat on King with another author for a while 'cause I'm a book ho.

Anyway,about the post title. Of the last four books from the library, three had writing and underlining in them. Come. On.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

CBR Book #8: Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin

(I don't want to get all spoiler up in this bitch because I don't know who has seen the movie or read the book.) This book troubled me as a feminist in the way that Rosemary was treated and the ways that she reacted to those around her. Rosemary acquiesces to almost all of those around her, including her husband Guy and their neighbors the Castavets. Even when her friends, her instincts, and her own body are telling her that something is amiss, she ignores them in favor of Guy , Dr. Saperstein, and the Castavets. That made me crazy as I was reading. I understand that this book was written by a man and in the late 1960s, but it still annoyed me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

CBR Book #7: Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker

The Monster at the End of This Book is awesome. In it, Grover the furry blue monster begs you not to turn another page, lest you bring him face-to-face with the monster waiting with the last words. Ropes are tied, walls are built, begging is employed, but all to no avail. You reach the end of the book only to find that lovable, furry Grover was the monster at the end of the book. Read that book instead.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

CBR Book #6: The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

Chris MacNeil is an actress filming on location in Georgetown. She lives in a rented home with her daughter Regan, housekeepers Karl and Willie, and Regan's tutor/Chris's secretary Sharon. This book also introduces us to a Jesuit, Father Damien Karras, who believes he is losing his faith.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

CBR Book #5: Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard

Jackie Burke is forty-four years old, married three times, and stuck in a dead-end job as an airline stewardess for Islands Air. Jackie begins bringing money from Freeport to California for Ordell Robbie, the man to see about getting a gun in Palm Beach. ATF agent Ray Nicolet and FDLE agent Faron Tyler want to bring in Ordell Robbie. Ordell wants to be sure that his business isn't threatened in any way so he goes to see bail bondsman Max Cherry about bonding out one of his associates. Ordell hopes that this associate will stay quiet and is willing to make sure he stays that way permanently. Add in Ordell's recently released convict buddy Louis Gara, Ordell's stable of women, $550,000 and you have Rum Punch.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

CBR Book #4: When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris.

I know I already reviewed a Sedaris book, but I promise this will be the last one for this Cannonball Read cycle. Probably.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Cannonball Read Book #3: Rant by Chuck Palahniuk

"My head's working overtime to swallow the mess of this." That line perfectly sums up my feelings about Rant. I picked up this book because Palahniuk's name was on the spine. I didn't read the synopsis on the inner flaps. After reading the book and the inner flaps, I don't think they would have prepared me for what was hiding inside the virus-illustrated covers.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Cannonball Read Book #2: Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill

Heart-Shaped Box came to my attention through a comment diversion at Pajiba. It was something about the scariest books that Pajibans had read and this book was mentioned more than once. Although the book didn't scare me, it was definitely a hell of a read and highly enjoyable.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Cannonball Read Book #1: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

When I was younger, probably about seven or eight years old, my cousins and I would climb trees in our grandparents’ yard. One particular tree had enough large, sturdy branches that we could all fit in it at once, making it perfect for playing Monchichis. One afternoon, we had finished playing Monchichis and we were all climbing out of the tree. I decided it would be an excellent idea to jump out of the tree, which is something I’d done many times before. This time, I jumped from the tree and stopped halfway to the ground. My jacket hood had been hooked on a short branch and I was stuck. My cousins ran into the house to get the adults because this was the 80s and parents actually let their children have fun without watching them every second of the day. The adults all ran outside to see me hanging from the tree by my jacket. There was much laughing and taking of pictures before anyone attempted to help me out of the tree. I can relate to David Sedaris’ writing.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

John Krasinski is 30 Today

Thanks to gp for the heads up! My doctor thinks that I have the flu, so I may have missed it altogether if not for his reminder!

Go watch Away We Go. Watch The Office, particularly the episode "Basketball" because Krasinski is looking HOT!

Enjoy your 30th birthday, my unsuspecting Freebie-to-be. You deserve a great one.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Did you think that was fun? Because trust me you won't have that much fun until you discover oral pleasure.

I finally got to watch Away We Go last night. I was so nervous about watching it because I love John Krasinski but I hate most of his movies. I couldn't even get to his part in the horrible Smiley Face. Leatherheads was a huge disappointment for me but the charisma of Clooney and the sweetness of Krasinski kept me watching. I didn't want Away We Go to be shite too. Luckily for me, it isn't.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cannonball Read II: In My Pants

I started this blog so I can take part in the Great Pajiban Cannonball Read. You can learn about it here. No seriously, go read about it at the link you damn slacker. I don't want to spoon-feed you this shit.

Okay. Since you read the post at the link, I know that YOU know that I'll be posting reviews of the books I read here. What you don't know is that I'll subject you to whateverthehellelse I can think of when I'm not posting those reviews. Maybe I'll tell you about the dream I had the other night with the naked Ryan Reynolds resting his penis on the top of my head while I garden. Maybe I'll tell you about my obsession with John Krasinski. We'll see.