Monday, November 16, 2009

CBR Book #7: Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker

The Monster at the End of This Book is awesome. In it, Grover the furry blue monster begs you not to turn another page, lest you bring him face-to-face with the monster waiting with the last words. Ropes are tied, walls are built, begging is employed, but all to no avail. You reach the end of the book only to find that lovable, furry Grover was the monster at the end of the book. Read that book instead.

I really like the idea of a book that is a demon speaking to you by rearranging his being into the words on the page. It sounds really interesting and frightening. It was neither for me. I can appreciate the immense undertaking that this book must have been. I can grasp the concepts of good and evil being less about warring with each other and more about business transactions on behalf of the things mankind creates. I just didn't like this book. I told The Husband that I might be frightened if words disappeared or appeared while I was reading, but that can't be done. WHICH is why it would scare the ever-loving poops out of me. It would also help if the aged-look to the pages weren't uniform throughout the book.

Jakabok Botch is the demon that is the book. (The name Jakabok takes me entirely out of the story since my cousin, Cock Vulture, and I used to use that name years ago for stupid things). Botch was raised in the Ninth Circle of Hell by an abusive father and mother. One day, Botch's Momma finds his writings of revenge against his father and others who have wronged him. She makes him burn the pages in a blaze fueled by her phlegm. Botch ends up falling into the fire and burning his face and the entire front of his body. His father realizes that Botch had written about him and gives chase to Botch with an intent to kill him. Then Botch and his father are captured by demon fisherman and Botch makes it to the surface of our world. From there, Botch meets another demon named Quitoon and travels through the century at his side. Botch and Quitoon do evil things for fun, like climb into the wombs of women about to give birth so that they might scare the infant to death. They also travel to see new machines that are endlessly created by mankind.

Throughout the book, you are beseeched by Botch to burn him/it. You are also insulted, bribed, threatened, and promised a Secret. I could not wait to finish this book and move on to the next one. I was underwhelmed and bored, though I guess I shouldn't expect much from a demon that's been trapped in a book for so long.

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