Wednesday, December 16, 2009
CBR Book #13: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Well, well, well. Harry Potter just got a bit more growed up in his third year. The book starts off like all of the other, with Harry dealing with his puppy-kicking assholes the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon's sister comes to visit and starts talking shit about Harry's parents, causing Harry to become upset and inflate her already large ass into a Macy's Parade balloon. Fearing he will be expelled from Hogwarts, Harry runs off and is picked up by the wizard public transportation Knight Bus. Here he learns about the things that Sirius Black, the escaped prisoner of Azkaban, was supposed to have done. This included murdering thirteen people in...DUN DUN DUN...COLD BLOOD.
Soon enough, Harry is found, told that all is forgiven for blowing up his uncle's harpy of a sister, and given a room to stay in at the Leaky Cauldron until the school year starts. Harry is able to roam the wizard shopping plaza of Diagon Alley freely while waiting for Ron and his family and Hermione to join him. Of course Harry learns that Sirius Black is probably out to kill him, but what would a year at Hogwarts be without a threat to Harry Potter? It'd still be pretty badass, what with all of the magic and such, but not as badass as having the threat of a murdered pre-teen wizard.
I am loving the Harry Potter series. Rowling had to have kept some super precise notes in order to keep all of this stuff straight in her head, because there are tons of rules, characters, creatures, and ties between wizards that one must keep straight. Not to mention the timelines and ever-changing line-up of Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers. Listen, kids. Don't be like me, thinking you're too cool to read Harry Potter books just because you are old and felt bad for a minute when you were watching Goblet of Fire and thought Cedric Diggory was a pretty hot guy so you checked IMDB to make sure you weren't having pedophile tendencies and then you were relieved that he was totally 18 or 19 so you didn't feel so bad. Because these books are really well-written and fully-realized. So you should read them.