Monday, February 1, 2010

This is not a book review

My 79 year old Pepaw fell and broke his leg on Tuesday. He was alone at his house when it happened. He felt the leg break and then crawled back to his house. He got to the phone and called...his buddies. "Where's a good place to get bones set?" he asked. Since he was asking in a normal tone of voice, Pepaw's buddy asked, "For your dog?", to which Pepaw replied, "No, for me."

Eventually the decision was made for Pepaw to go to hospital where it was discovered that he had broken his leg in three places below the knee, including the ankle. He had surgery on Friday to place a rod in his leg. After coming out of the anesthesia cloud, his leg began to hurt. The nurse asked Pepaw if he would like any pain medication. He though about it and said, "Might as well. It's too wet to plow anyway" and then smirked.

Pepaw refers to his urine bottle as his best friend because he can "piss all over it and it doesn't care". He told one of the nurses that he was sure she could help him move around since she was "really hefty". He told my Mom and me that he would stop feeling like shit if he would stop drinking the hospital's shitty coffee. While using the urine bottle in front of me (under his covers, of course) he told me I could stay in the room because "surely you've heard piss splash before". Before we left the hospital for the 3 hour drive home yesterday, Pepaw was telling us about a problem he had with his thumbs. The right thumb had responded to medication while the left thumb had gotten better on its own. "Hell," Pepaw said, "I guess one of my damn thumbs is a Republican and the other is a Democrat. As soon as I figure out which one is the Democrat I'm going to cut that one off."

All of this was said with the knowledge of cracking a joke and proved to us that he was going to be alright. Pepaw has always been a smartass and jokester and we have plenty of photos and memories to prove it. Whenever anyone questions why I think the way that I do, I always blame/credit Pepaw and his humor. After all, the family that makes fart jokes together is more awesome than the family that dances the polka together. Or something.


  1. Good for Pepaw! I admire both his sense of humour and yours. Fart jokes are awesome.

  2. HAHAHAHA!!!! Your Pepaw sounds OSSOM. The very fact that his name is PEE-paw is SO apropos.

    I'm jealous. Both of my grandpas are gone. And before that, they were Korean, so they didn't do much worth blogging about, anyway.