CBRIII: Book#19: Bite Me by Christopher Moore

I have a soft spot (in my head) for Jody and Tommy, the focus of the Vampire Trilogy of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me. They're two lonely kids that meet each other and immediately begin falling in love, even though vampire stuff and people trying to kill and separate them is happening all around. I really want these kids to make it and I really wanted to see their story through to the end. If you don't want to be spoiled about the first two books, then DON'T READ ANY FURTHER.

So! In the last installment, the sire vampire Elijah had taken the Blue Hooker vampire and left the city with some of his other vampire kids. Tommy and Jody were discussing their future together since Stephen "Foo Dog"Wong, minion Abby Von Normal's manga-haired love-monkey, had created a cure for the vampire virus. Jody loves being a vampire and Tommy does not. How do these two crazy kids stay together if only one of them is a vampire? Unfortunately, Abby decides the solution is waiting until the vampires pass out in the day and then bronzing them together. Abby did not learn from the bronzing in previous novels.

Oh, Chet the huge, shaved cat was turned into a vampire by Elijah and has been amassing a huge army of vamp-kitties that are attacking the homeless and the hookers of the city. So that's a bummer.

Meanwhile, Tommy is slowly going crazy in his bronze prison while Jody turns to mist each day to pass the time. It's lucky for the two of them that Abby's BFF, Jared, is a giant, gay goofball that decides to dance with a sharp dagger while explaining a story to some vampire rats in their living room (I...it really happened, y'all). Jody escapes from the slice in the bronze and releases Tommy, who is now entirely bat-shit.

From there, Jody tries to find Tommy. Foo and Abby try to find Chet. Cavuto and Rivera, the detectives that know about the vampire goings-on, are also trying to find Chet. The Animals are making Ancient Chinese Recipe vampire killing tea. Also, we meet someone from Fluke again when Elijah's three vampire children return to the city to clean up the ancient vampire's mess.

I must say, I tore through this book because I found it to be really good. Abby's narrative sections could get irritating, with the OMG! and WTF? and idiocy, but I feel like that's the way we're supposed to feel about the character. If I liked her the best then I might think I identified with her, which would be odd. Really odd. The Animals aren't as prominent, which is just as well, but we get to hear some actual dog's thoughts. Sweet.

I really liked this book. I had heard chatter that others were disappointed in it, but I wasn't. Was I completely satisfied with the ending? No, but that's because it didn't unfold the way I wanted it to. That doesn't take from my enjoyment of the entire book nor does it make me angry. It isn't my story to tell and Moore has definitely told the story that he wanted to tell with these characters. Well done.